Okay, maybe it’s not the food blogging itself, it’s probably just the late night sweet cravings I get every night, which tend to make me, ahem, gain a little 20 pounds.
Don’t get me wrong, looking at me you probably wouldn’t notice I gained any weight or that I have a weight problem. I mean, last year I was skinny. Like, you could count the bones on me I was that skinny. I’m at a healthy weight now. I’m not just saying that to try and justify the weight i’ve gained, I really am at a good weight and i’m pretty ok with it. So why am I telling you all of this?
Well, as much as I am okay with all of the weight i’ve gained, there comes a time when you have to suck it up and cut back so you don’t gain any more weight.
Because me and dieting? We go way back! For as long as I can remember, since I was a little itty bitty girl, i’ve always been self conscious and tried to lose weight. Which is probably why I used to have such a weight problem in the first place.
I used to eat until I couldn’t eat anymore every single meal just because that was what I thought was normal. I was never hungry because I constantly snacked and was always eating some sort of junk food. Ice cream, poptarts, toaster strudels, you name it I ate it.
Then everytime I looked in a mirror I wanted to just cry. I hated being overweight, even though I wasn’t thatoverweight. But I always wanted a change. Then finally after many many failed attempts I finally found something that worked and I started losing weight. I got to where I would run 6 miles everyday and I ate so strictly, if I ate one thing that was “cheating” on my diet I would cut out a bunch of other stuff just to try and make up for it. I was a little obsessed.
Which is why I got so skinny.
And some people told me I was “anorexic”. I hated that. I really wasn’t anorexic, I just ate very strictly. But I still wasn’t happy. I always wanted that one little slice of cake or that one bite of hamburger, but I never let myself. I refused.
Then I started getting into cooking a lot more and food blogging, and behold! 1 year later and 20 pounds heavier here I am. I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve gained that much because I know i’m still tiny. I’m healthy, I still work out everyday and I still eat a lot of healthy foods.
My only problem is that when I go off track on a diet one day, then I go completely off it. I eat whatever I want and then regret it right after.
And that’s my problem. I love to cook and I love to eat. I just need to find the right balance between cooking healthy and being able to have that one slice of cake and stopping.
It’s not easy, habits aren’t easy to break, but little by little you gotta do it.